trying to stop cutting

[harshhoneymoon]

its born from shame, i dont really wanna stop but i feel so infantile doing this and almost being 18. she told me it stems from wanting to take up less space [physically cutting the vessel] comparable to an eating disorder. it was so ironic, thinking about her that night and blushing, genuinely, and being blocked the next morning. i know shes playing this "relationship" from an unserious vantage. shes told me so many times that she doesnt care. she did for a while but i guess i messed up again.

"im so hungry i could eat lucy madonna"