harshhoneymoon

she's 22, im 17. 🖤

last night she was talking about blackmail. she has way too much of my personal information and unsafe photos. she said she hypothetically would to "make me feel remorse/shame" she also truly believes i cant feel shame for some reason. i trust her not too, i dont care if im being foolish.

brooklyn baby <3

"weird little kid breathing with mold growing over you" "thats how you look to me rn" spot on sel. this is who youve been sexting and emotionally investing into for the past 2 and a half months.

She’s playing a few songs from the knight of the seven kingdoms soundtrack, she hasn’t seen it, she knows it from my brother. They had hotdogs today for the meat fair, lent is this coming week. Sounds like we’re gonna have to go shopping :/ hopefully I can stay in the car. I forgot my headphones so that’s even worse. Me and mom were talking about college and going to community in the mountains for 2 years then going to the 4 year college for the other 2 years.

This will all be early 2027 if all goes well. Once I graduate I’ll immediately get employed again.

“You wanted me sadder”

its a real problem, extremely chronic, its why i've had 10 something blogs now. i want to get out of it and i've tried but it feels hopeless. i know it stems from feeling so alienated as a child and my obsession with categorizing emotions into clear cut concepts. i could really use a teacher. god i love this song. this is all the result of having your moon in the 12th house,sagittarius and a virgo 8th house mercury. we're all pretty unlovable but i feel special in my pronounced undesirability.

i hope i can move past all of this.